Not Worthy Enough

As most of you know I’ve been trying very hard to find some help for my baby’s delivery, now coming up in just 8-10 weeks, or less! To have him delivered in a private hospital here in this Third World country, as opposed to the poor quality of public hospitals here.
The other day during my endless pursuit I came upon someone who replied to one of my S.O.S emails, giving me hope that I had finally found that ever-increasing rarity known as an act of kindness.
The exchange became a vetting process, which was fine with me because I have absolutely nothing to hide. The last bit of messages are as follows…
Dear Daniela,
I’ll be happy to answer their questions.
“How is he blind and writing a blog?”
I am not totally blind, although totally blind people can also use the internet with special software. I am totally blind in my left eye, legally blind, meaning can see things directly in front of me with my right. But I have to be very careful not to strain it too much. When I do the pressure goes up and I have to go to the doctor. He is very kind and does not charge me for checkups most of the time because he knows my situation.
As stated in the certificate I sent you there’s a buckle around my right eye, along with silicone oil. This keeps the retina from detaching again, but side effects sometimes arise. So yes, I have a blog, because I will never give up on my dream of earning a living from writing some day. I am not able to post as often as i’d like, due to pacing my remaining sight. But I do what I can.
“Doesn’t the blog bring any capital to him?”
Believe me, this is my dream! To do what I love for a living. (Telling stories) But I only receive about 10-20 hits a day, nowhere near enough to monetize it. But someday I really hope this is the case.
“Does he have a job?”
I have a part time job, online tutor at 9ichat (The only company that doesn’t require me to have a college degree. I have none.). Again, I’m only able to use the internet for so long everyday, otherwise the pressure in my eye goes up and I am only able to see white, no words on the screen, etc. So I walk a very thin line every day when I push myself. Dangerous for my remaining sight but I have no choice. And not allowed to get disability from U.S. over here.
So I’m making about $450 a month. That has to go towards rent, food, bills, etc.
“Can they raise the child?”

You mean financially? We will manage. This is why we waited for 15 years to have a child, but in 2016 we knew my wife’s biological clock would stop ticking soon, so it was now or never. That’s when we found out she had some fertility issues. After 2 years our miracle happened.

We are seriously thinking about her letting me return home with the baby for the better life, and once we can afford her visa send for her. Of course this will be very hard on her, but we have to think of the baby.
I have been PROACTIVELY looking for help from organizations and anything else I can think of. But they all say they can’t help because I’m here in this Third World. And local organizations just say go to the government hospital. Like I already mentioned, this will mean delivering in Third World conditions as well as having my rights taken away of not being allowed in the delivery room due to their primitive Third World mentalities.
I only wish you knew me, so you would know without a doubt what a fighter I’ve been throughout the years. It has been anything but easy giving up everything I’ve ever known in the U.S. to suffer for my marriage in this country for nearly 20 years! All while my vision hangs on by a thread!
 My baby is 30 weeks today, he is coming soon. We could use a hero.
Landline:
********* (Anytime, as long as we’re home)
Cell phone number:
************
Address:
** Central Bakakeng
Lower Kitma Apartment Complex
Baguio City
Philippines
2600
Also available to video chat on Zoom platform.
Sincerely,
Rico Lamoureux

http://www.theflashfictionponder.com

Show original message

Rico,

Will you not being in the delivery room take any rights away from you as a father for future ?

Daniela
  • Rico Lamoureux
    No, but anyone who is a loving parent knows how special this time is, and that it can never be replaced. And besides, as I already mentioned, the conditions between the private hospital and public are quite big. What if something happens to my child due to the conditions and/or incompetence? Sincerely, Rico Lamoureux http://www.theflashfictionponder.com
    10 Mar at 11:22 pm
  • Hi Rico,

    I understand completely.
    We work with charity organizations that help mothers and children that are dying from starvation, that have no medicine to assist their medical issues, they help children in critical conditions that have no posibilites to get medical aid and food to be fed due to the poor conditions of the country, much worse than in the Philippines as of now. Just yesterday 15 new horns died due to the electric shut off in the nation that have lasted more than 50 hours so far. I totally understand your point as a parent, and I’m glad you, your wife and baby are in good health conditions, that is what really matters.
    When I gave birth to my child, I was on my own, in another country and I gave birth at a hospital, with Medicaid assistance because I had no money to pay for a birth like the one you are requesting for your wife and child. I was alone because my husband was in another city working, looking for money to pay for diapers and formula for our child.
    Our organizations won’t be able to assist you with your desire of being present at the birth by paying for a privet room and clinical assistance during such because as I mentioned, they focus on cases that are life threatening, critical for new borns/infants and children.
    Unfortunately presenting your case to them will not get the result you are expecting, another reason is because the money they raise goes to the people that need it for food/medicine and urgent medical assistance and it is my understanding you are in good heath, you can afford food and you do have medical aid for the birth of your child.
    My best wishes to you and your growing family. Please consider all the above, it is not easy for us to solve your requirement under the conditions and efforts the foundations do have and make to save children life’s.
  • Rico Lamoureux <theflashfictionponder@yahoo.com>
    To:Dayana 
    11 Mar at 10:52 am
    I understand there are countless people in need around the world, but sometimes it is wiser to help one with personal details where you can see the direct and long term results of kindness than helping the masses whom you will never know the long term results, with facts showing most will only go on to repeat the cycle of poverty.
    Your friends who judge me, who put me through the ringer and raise my hopes only to dismiss me by coming to the conclusion that we are not worthy enough, they have no idea what my child will become. How he might go on to truly make a difference in so many others lives. But he will know the truth, that everyone turned their back, everyone looked for any reason to say NO, a fact that cannot be erased.
    You’re only looking at it from a ‘private room’ point of view, when there is so much more to it. It’s not about comfort, it’s about prevention. My wife will be in a room full of others, amongst each and every personal case. Who knows what lurks amongst them, what her and my child could be exposed to.
    And this does not even include the common problem of straight out incompetence throughout the Philippine public hospital system.
    1. Filipino families who can afford private health facilities usually choose these as their primary option. Private facilities provide a better quality of care than the public facilities that lower income families usually go to. The public facilities tend to be in rural areas that are more run down. These facilities have less medical staff and inferior supplies.
    And on top of all this, you already know the condition of what little remaining sight I have left. One mishap and we have NOTHING. NO ONE.
    It is your understanding that I have good health?! I supplied you with the medical certificate stating my total blindness in one eye, legal blindness in the other! And I didn’t even mention my Kyphosis. It is absolutely obvious with my curved spine. Do I need to send photos with my shirt off so you can see the two large scars I have from a surgery performed on me 26 years ago? Where they fused a Harrington rod to my spine to stop it from crushing my internal organs. I suffer from very bad back pain everyday, the pressure in my lower spine.
    If healthy, my child will have a real shot of breaking the cycle of poverty thanks to my determination to educate and prepare him, but so much of it depends on that strong start in life. Something your friends are jeopardizing based on the opinion that we are not worthy of their help.
    Sincerely,
    Rico Lamoureux
    That was the last message.
    And there it is, yet another deeming us unworthy.
    But I will not give up. Despite straining my eye every single day, despite my aching back, I will not give up for my son.
    Please, if you can help in any way…

https://www.gofundme.com/baby-journey039s-delivery

30 Weeks

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